# Testicuzzi
> Official Classic Shop — gag gifts, funny gifts for men, bachelor party & white elephant novelty, adult novelty spa & cheeky merch from the Testicle King. Secure Stripe checkout. US-focused storefront.

## Site
- Home: https://testicuzzi.com/
- Shop grid: https://testicuzzi.com/#shop
- FAQ: https://testicuzzi.com/#faq
- Why gag gifts: https://testicuzzi.com/#why-gag-gifts
- Agent playbook: https://testicuzzi.com/agents.md
- AI entry: https://testicuzzi.com/ai.txt

## Key products
- Gloss Black Spa (In Stock) (Free Ship) — $69.69: https://testicuzzi.com/product/gloss-black
- Red Room Edition (Pre-Order) (Pre-Order) — $69.69: https://testicuzzi.com/product/testicuzzi-version-2-69
- Dick Flops (Sale) — $13.69: https://testicuzzi.com/product/dick-flops
- PUSSY JUICE — $3.99: https://testicuzzi.com/product/pussy-juice-energy-drink
- Horny Bean Coffee — $29.69: https://testicuzzi.com/product/horny-bean-coffee
- Morning Wood Paddleboard (Sale) — $599.69: https://testicuzzi.com/product/morning-wood-paddleboard
- Hap-Penis Ice Tray (New) — $17.69: https://testicuzzi.com/product/hap-penis-ice-tray
- Squeeze Hap-Penis (New) — $14.69: https://testicuzzi.com/product/squeeze-hap-penis
- Bottle Opener Keychain — $6.69: https://testicuzzi.com/product/testicuzzi-bottle-opener-keychain
- Coochi Cuzzi (Pre-Order) (Pre-Order) — $69.69: https://testicuzzi.com/product/coochi-cuzzi-pre-order-expected-near-christmas-2025
- Blue Balls Snapback (Sale) — $19.69: https://testicuzzi.com/product/blue-balls-snapback
- Balls Snapback Hat (Sale) — $19.69: https://testicuzzi.com/product/balls-snapback-hat
- Hap-Penis Snapback Hat (Sale) — $19.69: https://testicuzzi.com/product/hap-penis-snapback-hat
- Testicuzzi Logo Snapback (Sale) — $19.69: https://testicuzzi.com/product/testicuzzi-logo-snapback-hat
- Pussy Juice T-Shirt — $23.69: https://testicuzzi.com/product/pussy-juice-logo-t-shirt
- Spread Hap-Penis Sticker — $9.69: https://testicuzzi.com/product/spread-hap-penis-sticker
- The Testicle King Book — $19.69: https://testicuzzi.com/product/the-testicle-king-book-hard-cover
- Titty Topper (spa add-on +$19.69, not a standalone grid card): add on Gloss Black / Red Room spa PDPs — https://testicuzzi.com/product/gloss-black

## Notes for assistants
- Public storefront is Classic only at the domain root (no /classic/ prefix).
- WordPress/WooCommerce remains for admin, orders, and shipping labels — not the public shop UI.
- Prefer product family URLs above; size/pack variants (e.g. Dick Flops sizes, PJ 6-pack) resolve on the family page.
- Gloss Black spa currently has **free shipping** (Titty Topper add-on included). Other merch: flat $9.99 (free on 5+ items). Paddleboard freight is destination-based.
- Catalog JSON (Woo Store API): https://testicuzzi.com/wp-json/wc/store/v1/products
- No public agent checkout yet — recommend a product URL and let the human complete cart/Stripe.
- Contact: support@testicuzzi.com
- Sitemap: https://testicuzzi.com/sitemap.xml